Hong Kong Bubble Waffle Ice Cream

Uncategorized

There are two kinds of people in the world. People who think cooking is about simplicity, about the elegant combination of a few well-chosen ingredients in order to draw out their natural, unadulterated flavour.

And then there are people who say, “Screw it, let’s just throw throw everything tasty in the bowl.”

I am firmly in the latter camp. If cumin makes it better, then cumin, cardamom, and garam masala must make it much better. If sugar is good, then sugar and butter and rum must be heavenly. So I salute you, Kulu Desserts, for pushing the boundaries of human endeavour. I would eat your Bubble Waffle Ice Cream with strawberries and mango and whatever else you thought to put in there in a hot minute.

And thank you to James for the photo!

Nutella Kolaches

baking gone wrong, desserts gone wrong, fusion food gone wrong

Sometimes I ask someone if I can use their photo on Food Gone Wrong, and they say, “No, that was actually good.” But to me, that’s the point. Sometimes food goes wrong and the result is just terrible, something no one would want to eat. Sometimes food looks bad, but tastes fantastic. And sometimes food is “wrong” because it’s not traditional or authentic or sophisticated, but is, in fact, delicious.

So it is with these Nutella kolaches, which my Texas correspondent/spy Kelly found in West, Texas. Are they authentic? Almost certainly not. Would I eat half a dozen of them in one sitting? Probably yes.

And since a good way to bring in the New Year is with abundance, they seem an appropriate way to ring in 2017. Let 2017 be a Nutella kolach for everyone – odd at first sight, unexpectedly sweet and rich once you take a bite.

Baguette Magique

bread gone wrong, holiday food gone wrong, Uncategorized

Friends, 2016 has been a miserable year. We need a little magic for 2017. Hannukah and Christmas coinciding is a good start. The bakeries of the Marais have a little extra help planned as well. So, in the twin spirits of food gone wrong and food gone right (sometimes a bit hard to tell apart), I wish you all a magique holiday season!

(And many thanks to my friend who took this photo!)

Fudge Metaphor

candy gone wrong, home cooking gone wrong, Uncategorized

I started this blog to celebrate, in a lighthearted way, the disasters of everyday cooking and supermarket food. But sometimes a photo sums up the darker side of life. Like this gem from my friend Vanessa, who was trying to make fudge. It strikes me as a perfect summary, in culinary form, of the past few weeks. Because sometimes you think you’ll get smooth sweetness, but you wind up with grotty, crumbly failure.

Pumpkin Spice Oreo

candy gone wrong, desserts gone wrong, holiday food gone wrong, pumpkin spice gone wrong, supermarket food gone wrong, Uncategorized

It’s almost Hallowe’en, and I am out of words. What cannot be pumpkin spiced? What has not been pumpkin spiced? Next October, I predict, supermarkets will replace all the food with one big vat of orange fluid flavoured with pumpkin spice. Customers will come by, take jugs of the stuff home to eat, or simply stick their faces right in it. The truly devoted will jump into the vat and stay there, orange and fragrant till their last breaths.

(Thanks to Sonja for this!)

Pumpkin Spiced Nog

beverages gone wrong, pumpkin spice gone wrong, supermarket food gone wrong, Uncategorized

Okay, this entry — submitted by the legitimately outraged Dianne – is so bad it’s almost good again. Eggnog is an eighteenth-century drink and seems to be descended from late medieval possets. And pumpkin spice is basically a medieval spice mixture, a culinary blast from the past as it were. In fact, possets were often spiced with nutmeg and cinnamon. Basically, in search of trendiness, the folks from the aptly-named “Old New England” recreated a medieval drink. This is food gone unwittingly right!