Wellness Ham

I don’t know about you, but when I think of “wellness,” “health food,” and “yoga facing a waterfall while my pert behind is being photographed,” the next thing on my mind is increasing my consumption of processed pork. But not just any pork — no, it has to be softly scalloped and thinly sliced pork, pork so ethereal it is crowned the ham of the month, or, as the text on the package has it, “the especially light ham indulgence.”

I’m so looking forward to “fasting salami” and “meditation meatballs.”

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