I don’t know about you, but when I’m hankerin’ for balls, I don’t want them to be adulterated. No fillers in the balls please. No preservatives either. The balls should be protein-rich, organic, and ready to eat. Don’t put flour all over the balls, or dip them in soya sauce. Just give me some simple, traditional, nut balls, the way grandma made them. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks to Anne for this contribution!
You know those times when you want nostalgic carbs, but you also want cold cuts? And you need an efficient product that can deliver both into your insatiable maw at the same time, as part of one sandwich mega-complex? And you know how you despair of ever being able to eat with such pleasure-less calculation? Rest assured, food engineers have developed the solution of your dreams.
Thank you, Hailey, for stomaching the sight of this long enough to take a picture.
For those times when vanilla just isn’t bland enough.
Thanks to Jordan for the investigative reporting!
It’s almost Hallowe’en, and I am out of words. What cannot be pumpkin spiced? What has not been pumpkin spiced? Next October, I predict, supermarkets will replace all the food with one big vat of orange fluid flavoured with pumpkin spice. Customers will come by, take jugs of the stuff home to eat, or simply stick their faces right in it. The truly devoted will jump into the vat and stay there, orange and fragrant till their last breaths.
(Thanks to Sonja for this!)
Okay, this entry — submitted by the legitimately outraged Dianne – is so bad it’s almost good again. Eggnog is an eighteenth-century drink and seems to be descended from late medieval possets. And pumpkin spice is basically a medieval spice mixture, a culinary blast from the past as it were. In fact, possets were often spiced with nutmeg and cinnamon. Basically, in search of trendiness, the folks from the aptly-named “Old New England” recreated a medieval drink. This is food gone unwittingly right!
Ah yes. I remember this part of Dante’s Inferno. Not the third circle — gluttony — but the sixth, heresy. It’s a little known fact that Farinata degli Uberti was condemned to eternal, fiery punishment due to his perverse use of pumpkin flour. You’ve been warned.
Thanks to Elan, for documenting his purgatorial shopping trip.
I’m not sure what’s worst about this box of pumpkin spice Cheerios. Is it that all foods in America are adulterated with pumpkin spice starting in August these days? The Starbucksification of every meal of the day? Or is it the fact that it would be really easy to make your own pumpkin spice breakfast cereal by just sprinkling some cinnamon and nutmeg on it before pouring the milk?
Oh, the humanity.
(Thank you, Christopher, for the photo.)